Step Nine: Whenever Possible, Make Direct Amends to All Persons We Have Harmed, Except When to Do So Would Injure Them or Others

By Cathy, Church Service Missionary

Before writing an article about Step 9, I realized I needed to do something for Step 8. So I wrote a letter to all my children. I will copy it and give it to them soon.

In the letter, I mentioned how ARP has helped me better understand Christ’s Atonement and how to access its power. I’m learning how to trust Heavenly Father by asking for His help in my life and allowing Him to help me. I know the Savior’s atonement covers all the things I go through. He has suffered through them already. He knows how to deal with it and help me through it.

writing letter

In the letter, I asked my children to forgive me for not having dealt with my own issues, and because of that, I wasn’t able to be as responsive to their needs. I was often a stressed mom who tried to encourage her kids, but it probably came across as being a nag or being negative. I also missed opportunities to be a better mom. Through asking for Heavenly Father’s help, I’ve learned I don’t have to solve my children’s problems. They can receive revelation for their own lives. I can share with them when they ask me or when I feel prompted to.

I feel more peace in my life because I’m listening to the Spirit better and I’m not trying to help my children do what I think they should be doing.

Yes, as a parent, I can still teach and encourage my children. I have greater peace because I’m asking Heavenly Father to guide me and help me to do it in a way that allows my children the opportunity to experience life through their own choices.

Step 9 helps me let go of the things I’ve made mistakes with in my past. It helps me try to make things right with others for situations when I haven’t made the best of decisions. And in that process I have peace, and hopefully those to whom I make restitution feel peace as well.

I’m grateful I can continue to try to trust Heavenly Father and the Savior and ask for Their help in getting through the challenges of life. I’m grateful I can set things right with the people with whom I interact.

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