I really like the idea of the spot check, of pausing anytime throughout the day when I feel that something is not right. I was out walking today, and feeling discomfort over something that happened with a friend last week. I had already apologized, but I really felt I needed to talk to her again, acknowledge the tension it caused her over a few days and the discomfort of eventually having to ask someone else to do something she had asked me to do, because I hadn’t responded to her initial request. I had seen her with another friend a few days before, and they both felt distant; my discomfort increased into jealousy and hurt.
As I walked through my neighborhood, I called and talked to my friend. I knew if I said I felt bad she would tell me it was fine, so I just described the problem and stress I knew I had created for her and told her I was sorry I didn’t get back to her right away, and I was wrong to delay so long. She told me, as I expected, that I didn’t need to apologize. But I felt it was important that my amend acknowledged the frustration and uncertainty I had created in her life. I tried to help her feel seen, and my apology was more sincere because of my acknowledgement of her feelings.
My feelings toward the other friend changed from hurt back to kindness, so I decided to call and leave a friendly message on her voicemail. To my surprise, she answered, and when I asked if there was anything I could do for her that day, I found out that she was overwhelmed and in tears and did need help. I was able to do several things for her to make her day more manageable.
So many blessings resulted from my spot checks. I recognized feelings that made me aware I needed to make an amend, to do it right away, to do it sincerely and with an awareness of the pain I caused and a willingness to take responsibility for it. I felt my feelings of jealousy and hurt dissipate; and I was able to respond to the prompting to help a friend in need I wouldn’t have called if I had not resolved the feelings from the weekend.
I love this advice from the manual: “Be patient with yourself and others as you struggle forward in this process of growth, change, life, and recovery. Be patient as you struggle to identify issues and what your part is or was in those issues. Be open to the answers because they will come.” That is so true! As I am humble and open and willing, the Lord helps me to see, and He helps me to change. And this: “We discover it is a relief not to feel we always have to be right.” Such a relief!!!